Because my goal for today is to make people laugh....

[lynx212]

For Shits and Giggles: Volume one Edition one Sunday March 6th 2011

Editor in Chief : lynx212 

Definitions

AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. -- Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. -- The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

DISCONFECT (dis kon fect) v. -- To sterilize the piece of confection (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.

ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n --The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater

FRUST (frust) n -- The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

Country Western Song Titles

Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Sure Do Miss Him
Please Bypass This Heart
She Got The Ring and I Got the Finger
You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly


You Know You're Getting Old When...

You wake up with that morning-after feeling and you didn't do anything the night before.

You don't remember when your wild oats turned to shredded wheat.

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

Comments

[lynx212.livejournal.com]

*giggles* thanks lady I will have another one out in a few days ^_^