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lynx212For Shits and Giggles: Volume one Edition one Sunday March 6th 2011
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lynx212
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lynx212 Definitions
AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. -- Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. -- The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
DISCONFECT (dis kon fect) v. -- To sterilize the piece of confection (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.
ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n --The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater
FRUST (frust) n -- The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
Country Western Song Titles
Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Sure Do Miss Him
Please Bypass This Heart
She Got The Ring and I Got the Finger
You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
You Know You're Getting Old When...
You wake up with that morning-after feeling and you didn't do anything the night before.
You don't remember when your wild oats turned to shredded wheat.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
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Date: 2011-03-09 08:04 am (UTC)Elecceleration: repeatedly pushing the elevator button to make it go faster.
And just a couple of country songs from when I was a youngster:
Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goal Posts of Life
(I didn't believe that was a real song. So my Dad made me listen to it. ALL of it. I was done after one line.)
I Got Tears In My Ears From Lying on My Back, Crying Over You.
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Date: 2011-03-10 07:10 pm (UTC)