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lynx212Title: Fate's Bitch
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Verse: OneShots
Pairing/Characters: Ed, Roy, Ed/Winry, Ed/Russell
Words: 300
Rating: R
Warnings:Mentions of Mpreg
Summary: Roy tries to console Ed but doubts there's enough liquor in Amestris to help the blond out of the mess he's in.
Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
fanfic_bakeoff and I am so blaming ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kyofujimiya for this...
Edward Elric had the worst fucking luck of any unfortunate soul on the planet. He knew there was no way in hell even the world’s biggest fuckup could top his week and if the bottle of scotch he was currently going through didn’t kill him he was sure Russell or Winry would.
He was so desperate for advice he called the last person anyone that knew him would even consider and that was Roy Mustang.
Currently the Flame Alchemist was staring at his friend and subordinate in complete and utter shock. When Ed first told Roy what his problem was he’d been so sure he was joking he’d laughed.
Once Ed made it clear his statement was no laughing matter, Roy couldn’t lift his jaw off the bar.
“I… I can’t believe this… how?”
“Beats the fuck out of me Mustang, but then again this is me we’re talking about so I suppose I shouldn’t be shocked.”
“But still Fullmetal I just… damn.”
“I hope your advice gets better than that or you’re paying your own fucking bar tab.”
“I don’t know what to say Ed but considering the situation consider the drinks and dinner on me.”
“Money isn't my problem, Colonel Bastard.”
“It will be once you have to pay child support.”
“Fuck you, Mustang.”
“And risk ending up impregnated too? Not a chance,” Roy said with a smile.
“Bite me. This isn’t funny.”
“Like hell it isn’t. Do you know how ill-fated, not to mention fertile, a person has to be to knock-up a man and a woman at damn near the same time?”
“Well enjoy laughing at me now because I’m guessing the instant they get to Central I’m a dead man.”
Roy shook his head and ordered another round.
Ed was going to need it.
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Verse: OneShots
Pairing/Characters: Ed, Roy, Ed/Winry, Ed/Russell
Words: 300
Rating: R
Warnings:
Summary: Roy tries to console Ed but doubts there's enough liquor in Amestris to help the blond out of the mess he's in.
Written for
fanfic_bakeoff and I am so blaming kyofujimiya for this... Edward Elric had the worst fucking luck of any unfortunate soul on the planet. He knew there was no way in hell even the world’s biggest fuckup could top his week and if the bottle of scotch he was currently going through didn’t kill him he was sure Russell or Winry would.
He was so desperate for advice he called the last person anyone that knew him would even consider and that was Roy Mustang.
Currently the Flame Alchemist was staring at his friend and subordinate in complete and utter shock. When Ed first told Roy what his problem was he’d been so sure he was joking he’d laughed.
Once Ed made it clear his statement was no laughing matter, Roy couldn’t lift his jaw off the bar.
“I… I can’t believe this… how?”
“Beats the fuck out of me Mustang, but then again this is me we’re talking about so I suppose I shouldn’t be shocked.”
“But still Fullmetal I just… damn.”
“I hope your advice gets better than that or you’re paying your own fucking bar tab.”
“I don’t know what to say Ed but considering the situation consider the drinks and dinner on me.”
“Money isn't my problem, Colonel Bastard.”
“It will be once you have to pay child support.”
“Fuck you, Mustang.”
“And risk ending up impregnated too? Not a chance,” Roy said with a smile.
“Bite me. This isn’t funny.”
“Like hell it isn’t. Do you know how ill-fated, not to mention fertile, a person has to be to knock-up a man and a woman at damn near the same time?”
“Well enjoy laughing at me now because I’m guessing the instant they get to Central I’m a dead man.”
Roy shook his head and ordered another round.
Ed was going to need it.
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(no subject)
Date: 2012-07-12 12:11 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-07-12 10:47 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-07-12 02:17 pm (UTC)