lynx212: (Roy Ed Kissing)
[personal profile] lynx212
A gift fic for Fanny who was kind enough to donate to a great cause. Hugs her for her patience!

Title: Blockage
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Author: Little Ole Me
Chars/Pairs: Roy/Ed
Genres: Smut/Humor/Slice of Life
Rating: NC-17
For: [ profile] fandomaid based on 10 prompts from [ profile] 5_prompts Tables 42 and 18
Warnings: None I can think of ^_^
Word Count: 7,300
Summary: Fate likes to toy with Ed and now that he is with Roy poor Mustang is along for the ride... at least he's trying to ride...
A/N: A big thanks going out to [ profile] anotherfmafan for being so patient. I hope you enjoy this babe!

**Table 42 - 02 Be Patient**

It’s been far too long and what little patience Edward Elric had was worn so thin you could see through it.

As Ed sat in a nearly empty train that was barreling its way toward Central he had nothing but time to think. What should have been a weeklong soirée into no man’s land to find an old alchemist had turned into a full-blown quest. Maes had left out more than a few details and when Ed could think past getting his rocks off he was sure to beat the man with his much-loved camera for doing this to him. Tired out of his mind, and pissed beyond words, Ed was ready to be home.

Most of all he was ready to see Roy.

Frustrated was not even the word for what he was feeling.

One hundred and thirty-seven days of misery.

Three thousand and two hundred and eighty eight days of loneliness.

Yes four months and several days of nothing but crazy prophets, dangerous half-baked theories, dirt and sand had Edward Elric missing Roy Mustang in a way that was sure to leave one of them limping by the time their reunion was over. With the way he felt, he didn’t care who, hell truth be known it was very likely to be both of them. Ed loved his work. He loved the crazy bastard that sent him on the quest too, but he was a man and like any other man, he had his limits.

On a cool autumn night several years ago, Pinako had told him something, that was ringing very true at this moment in Ed’s life.

“Sex is like shaving, be it the face for men or the legs for women. Once you start, it’s not going to be something you can ever stop.”

Ed hadn’t put much thought into that odd late night talk the two of them had shared. To be blunt Ed had laughed awkwardly as he shook his head at the pipe smoking old woman. Of course this was back when getting laid was not a priority in his world. Even once pleasures of the flesh became something he indulged in, he gave that tidbit of advice no thought.

As Ed sat on a train with a dick so hard he could chisel stone with it, her words echoed in his head like the sage advice it was.

The train couldn’t move fast enough in his opinion.

He was ready to lock Roy Mustang in a room until they sent out a missing person’s bulletin.

As the train pulled into the station, another issue hit Ed’s mind.


Al would surely want to keep him at home once he got there. Ed had missed his little brother like a grounded bird missed the sky. However, a long night spent chatting over a bowl of pretzels and a six pack of beer wasn’t what Ed had in mind. It was not what he had in mind at all.

Problem was, how was he going to handle this without hurting Al’s feelings?

The answer was obvious.

No one knew he was on his way back. Ed had been so fed up and ready to leave when he solved the whole mess he’d tossed his shit in his suitcase and headed for the nearest train station. No call, no telegram… nothing. So by all rights, Al should be sleep. Sound asleep and not anticipating his brother’s arrival. Ed should be able to slip in the house unnoticed, grab some clothes that didn’t hold the stench of sweat and drip sand before slipping right back out into dead of night. He could be at Roy’s place and in his arms within the hour. Spotting a phone Ed decided to give Roy a call and wake him up. He wanted the man ready.

A sound fucking and sexual release was as good as theirs!

**05 Pic**

When the phone jostled Roy out of his book just before eleven it didn’t strike fear in his heart as it usually did. Something about the ring told him it was anything but bad news. When he picked it up and the much-missed sound of his lover’s rich baritone voice wafted out of the earpiece, Roy was all smiles. Even Ed’s greeting of wake up Bastard did nothing to quell Roy’s relief when he heard Ed say he was back in Central.

“I’d say I’m sorry for disturbing you but I’m not.”

“Don’t be, are you…” Roy faltered for a moment. He wanted Ed all to himself but surely Al was going to end up with him first. That was probably what the phone call was about to announce.  “When will I see you?”

“Within the hour if I have anything to say about it.”

“What? Really?” Roy didn’t care how excited and childish he sounded. It was a joy he wasn’t willing to put a lid on. “Do you want me to come pick you up?”

“Yes I do, but I think the noise of the car would wake Al up at home so come get me from the train station.”

“I was willing to risk it. As much as Alphonse rattles me when he is in protective mode I would be willing to fight him over you tonight.”

Ed laughed at that and said, “I’ll meet you out front.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

As Ed plowed his way through an unusually large crowd for such a late train, the smile on his face was huge. His mind was in the gutter and he couldn’t think past dark eyes and skilled hands. So focused was he on his destination, he didn’t see the obvious bad news in front of him. That bad news was in the form of three crafty looking men and one very dubious looking package.

As Ed bobbed through the pattern of people, the edge of the suitcase slung over his shoulder clipped one of the men.

“Hey! Watch it buddy!”

Ed mumbled a quick series of apologies as he pressed forward.

“You’d better be sorry, asshole!”

Ed kept on as if he didn’t realize the man was talking to him.

“Yeah, you’d better run shorty.”

Stopping dead in his tracks, Ed took a deep breath and decided to just let it ride.

“Look guys, I’m not looking for trouble.”

“What if you found it anyway, pipsqueak,” one of them sneered.

Turning around Ed let out an exasperated, “I’ve got somewhere to be and from the looks of it so do you. Can I take a rain check on the random brawl?”

“You got a smart mouth on you boy,” replied the one guy with the obnoxious pinky ring and matching forearm tattoos as he approached Ed. “I think you need a lesson from me about respecting your elders.”

“I don’t need anything from you and I’m certain you don’t want anything from me.”

“We’ll be the judge of that.”

With a second sigh, Ed sat his suitcase down and took on a fighting stance. He hoped they were as dumb as they sounded. If that was the case, maybe this wouldn’t take long.

**04 A Blizzard Of Seconds**

Roy had just pulled up to the train station when several people came running out looking panicked. Rolling the car window down he realized there was some sort of commotion going on inside and quickly maneuvered the car into a side lot. He had a sneaking suspicion his wayward lover was involved if not the cause altogether. Fate just seemed to like him as a target and poor Ed just couldn’t help himself once provoked.

As Roy strolled in past the fleeing people, he got to the source of the ruckus just in time to see Ed pin a man. One alchemical flash later and the thug was held tight to the station wall. Ed was a flurry of blond hair, fists and feet. He was holding his own just fine but when one of the thugs reached for a weapon Roy took action.

Snapping his fingers the man soon found his toy too hot to hold. With the numbers evened out, the thugs lost the only edge they had. A painfully short few minutes later, another man had joined their friend on the wall as the third sat hog tied with the belt from Roy’s robe. They would be quite the package for the authorities to pick up when they finally arrived. As they passed the cowering security guards, Ed told them to advise the police to bring an alchemist with them if they didn’t want to dismantle one of the train station walls.

Once inside Roy’s car both men sighed before Ed burst into laughter.

“Do I even want to know?”

“I doubt it, but I’m going to tell you anyway.”

“I’m all ears.”

“The last twenty minutes of my life has been ridiculous in ways I can’t even comprehend.”


“I stepped off a train, bumped into the troublesome trio, got into a pointless fight only to be aided by my boyfriend wearing his pajamas and robe. I think that qualifies as ridiculous don’t you? That robe makes a fabulous cape by the way.”

Roy glared at his smirking lover, “I was under the impression I wouldn’t be leaving the car.”

“Well you know how much fate likes to fuck with me so you should be prepared at all times.”

“Is this a fact?”

“It is, that entire incident made no sense.”

“Care to tell me about it in detail?”

Ed started to ask him if he was nuts when he noticed the gleam Roy’s eyes. It was a promising look. Very promising to be frank so Ed started talking.

“All I wanted was to get to the door. I was making a beeline to the exit because all I could think about was you and getting laid.”

“So far so good,” Roy said as he put a hand on Ed’s leg.

“For once I…,” Ed began but faltered as fingers started to draw lazy circles on his inner thigh. “I was minding my own business.”

“Is that so?” Roy asked as his leaned over and let his other arm snake its way across Ed’s shoulders.

“Absolutely,” Ed said as he enjoyed the feel of a gloved hand making its way higher and higher. “I accidently bumped one of those would be thugs and…” boy that hand was a busy thing. “…and I even tried to walk away when they started making an issue of it.”

“Hmmm so you were being a good boy after all. And here I thought I was going to have to punish you,” Roy replied as he leaned further and let his lips settle down on Ed’s collarbone.

Ed’s hand had just run up the back of Roy’s neck and fisted in dark hair when the telltale sound of police cars could be heard approaching the station.

“I guess that’s our cue to leave,” Roy said as he backed away and settled into the driver’s seat.

“Unfortunately,” Ed grumbled as he tried to adjust his pants around the hard-on he had.

“Are we headed to my place?”

“YES!” Ed replied and his enthusiasm made Roy chuckle. “I was going to stop by the house but screw that. I’ll wash my clothes at your place.”

“Let me stop at the closest store and get some gas and we’ll do just that. If you go in and grab some food we could probably stay holed up together for the rest of the weekend.”

“As long as this goes down,” Ed said as he pointed at his crotch, “by the time we get there you got yourself a deal.”

**03 Live the Questions**

Ed was in decent shape by the time they reached the store. It was nothing throwing his coat on couldn’t disguise. Heading straight for the coolers he grabbed two packs of lunchmeat and some juice. He debated a bit near the serious meats but decided against it. He figured by the time he got tired of snack food, he’d probably be willing to be something besides naked and they could head out to eat. So, after tossing a bunch of bananas and a loaf of bread in his basket he thought he was home free.

That was until he heard…


Ed did a slow turn and when he came face to face with Al and Fletcher, he could have screamed. His mouth hung open and he just stood there without a thing to say. He was just about to attempt speech when Al beat him to it.

“When did you get back in town?”

“I well..."

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home?”

“You see I…”

“You look awful rough for someone out shopping. Are you okay?”

A hand settled on his shoulder as a voice he’d know anywhere answered for him.

“Looks like your surprise is ruined Ed. You’ve been found out.”

“Surprise?” Al and Fletcher questioned in unison.

“Well it was so late Ed thought to have me pick him up so you’d wake up in the morning to his return.”

“Is that right, Brother?”

Ed just nodded dumbly as the hand on his shoulder gave a comforting squeeze.

“You’re the best!” Al said as he flung his arms around his beloved older sibling. A gesture Ed returned. He had really missed Al. Hell he’d missed everyone. He’d even missed Central.  Despite those facts, as shitty as it sounded and as shitty as he felt with Al hugging him in excitement, Ed still just had a one-track mind.

“Thanks Aru, I’ve missed you too.”

Al sniffed him and said, “Seems like you’ve also missed a few showers.”

Ed elbowed his sibling as Roy and Fletcher fought to stifle their amusement.

“Forgive me if the desert isn’t known for its hot springs and amenities.”

“Come on let’s get you home and clean. I’ll fix some of the stuff you have in that basket while you shower,” Al said.

“Would you like to join us General?” Fletcher asked. “You look like you’re dressed for a night in anyway.”

It was Ed’s turn to chuckle and after checking out they all piled in Roy’s car. With Fletcher up front and the brothers seated in the back. Ed tried to focus on the conversation Al was having with him but every time dark eyes met his via the rearview mirror, his mentality did a slow slide back into the gutter.

**01 We Need**

When they arrived at the Elric home, they carried the food in and Roy took a seat at the kitchen table as Ed headed for the stairs. The horrible thing was all Roy could think about was Ed getting naked in the same building he was in without him. It was a horrid thought and a thorough waste of sinfully perfect eye candy. It was something that should not be allowed to happen.

With this in mind, Roy excused himself from the kitchen saying he was going to try to use the bathroom before Ed got in the shower. Out of the kitchen, through the living room and up the stairs Roy went. When he reached the end of the hall Ed was just stepping out of his room clad in nothing but his boxers. The moment his eyes settled on Roy he backed up and as soon as Roy stepped in the room, the door was shut behind him. Roy had Ed against the wall and his lips back on his collarbone in no time.

As a hand slid from his chest down his abdomen Ed said, “I… oh shit… Al…”

“He’s in the kitchen.”

“I know that I… fuck Roy... I just think he had a point. I am filthy.”

Roy grabbed him by his shoulders, stared him in the eye and said, “Do I look like I care? If I have to wait another moment to touch you I’m going to kill something or someone.”

“But I’m…”

“Yes, I know, and since that’s the case you won’t mind me adding to it.”

Before Ed could ask what he meant, Roy spun him around. With Ed’s back to Roy’s chest, he could feel that the other man was in the same mindlessly wanton and ridiculously hard state he was in. A hand slid into Ed’s boxers and a few stokes later Ed was so close to blowing his load he had forgotten how to breathe. Any other time cumming this quickly would be embarrassing but these were desperate times.

That tingly warm feeling had just built up in his abdomen when…

“Did you get lost up here, General?”

Nothing could kill an impending orgasm and its accompanying hard-on quicker than the sound of your baby brother’s voice. Ed had never tested this theory before but trial run one was a smashing success. Stuck and flustered Ed replied, “No, he’s fine. He’s in here.”

When Roy gave him the, are you insane look Ed grabbed the wooden backscratcher off his dresser ran it hard over his back a few times before shoving the thing down in his hamper. He had just placed the towel around his waist, put his back to Roy again and flipped his hair over his shoulder when Al walked in.

“Are you sure it doesn’t look like a bug bite and it’s just a rash?” he said loudly and slowly hoping Roy would catch on.

“Yeah it… it definitely looks like a rash but it’s probably just from the heat.”

“What do you think Al?” Ed said turned around so his brother could see his back.

Al studied it for a few seconds before saying, “I think the General is right it looks like a rash. Come to think of it your entire body looks a little red.”

Ed had never wanted to crawl in a hole more than he did at that moment.

“Desert sand and heat are hard on those not use to it,” Roy added trying his best not to flush.

“Yeah, a nice cool shower and some lotion is probably all you need.

Ed definitely needed a cool shower and if he thought whacking off would do the trick he’d take the hand lotion too.

**Table 18 - 05 The Eye Pic**

Ed showered as Roy kept the other two younger men company in the kitchen. By the time, Ed returned nice and clean, looking refreshed and good enough to eat Roy was seriously considering just dragging him out to the car. Consequences be damned.

As they ate the food Al and Fletcher had prepared, Roy kept catching glorious glimpses of his lover’s flesh. Ed’s thin button up shirt would slip off his shoulder revealing the lack of anything underneath. The foot propped up on his seat would provide a clear shot down the wide leg of his boxers. Those devious golden eyes would cut in his direction when the other two were occupied. It was all killing Roy slowly.

The second time Fletcher yawned Roy thought he might catch a break. That maybe the other two would go to bed leaving him and Ed alone.

There was even more hope in the air when Al invited him to stay the night since it was so late. Fletcher even offered him the guest room but he refused it. This wasn’t the desired ending for the evening but it was better than them being completely separated.

That hope came crashing down when…

“General I’m beat I’ll get you a blanket and some pillows.”

“I’ll do that Al,” Ed offered.

“Oh no you don’t, you’re going to bed. You’ve caused the General enough trouble this evening already.”

“But Al I really don’t mind. I won’t…”

“Nope, off to bed. You still look a bit red and you need rest.”

“But Al I’m fine really. I’m not tired at all.”

“I won’t take no for an answer on this one, Brother. I was ready to skin Mr. Hughes myself for you being gone so long.”

“I have to do the same thing to Russell some days Al,” Fletcher chimed in. “Come on I’ll help you.”

Just like that. Roy’s hopes were dashed as he watched sweet little mother hen Alphonse drag Ed up the stairs. Golden eyes looked back at Roy in a pleading manner but all was lost as Al pulled and Fletcher pushed Ed up the stairs.

Hours passed and Roy had just managed to doze off on the couch when he felt a hand caress his face. Smiling even before his eyes fluttered open he grabbed that hand and pressed his lips to a warm palm. When his eyes did open, he found himself looking into bright golden orbs reflecting the dancing flames in the fireplace. He could lose himself in those eyes.

“What time is it?”

“Some time after three.”

“Why are you still up?”

“Do you even have to ask that? There’s a sprawled out Mustang in my house how could I sleep?”

Roy sat up, patted the spot beside him and admitted to having spent most of the night staring at the ceiling himself.

He leaned over to kiss Ed and the world melted away. The extended time apart had been nothing short of torture. There wasn’t enough of anything with Ed gone. Not enough laughter, not enough love, not enough passion. Everything ceased to be worth anything with the light of his life gone.

Roy knew going at it on the couch was risky but he was never one to play it safe. Safety was for losers so if Ed was game so was he. Some things were worth risking evisceration via Alphonse for. Besides, if Al slept anything like Ed, he was dead to the world. It would take a shot ringing out to wake him.

As if it were the answer to accidental wish, the fireplace popped loudly.

“Shit,” Ed cursed from his spot under Roy. “That damn thing hates me.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“We aren’t sure but if I don’t shift the logs around it’ll keep doing that.”

Wiggling out from under Roy, Ed stood up just as the damnable thing popped again, this time loud enough to echo. Ed stomped his way to the fireplace and just as he picked up the iron poker, a deafening crack sounded and Ed cursed again. When they heard footsteps coming down the steps Roy sighed. The fates had it in for them this night. This was surely punishment from some cock-blocking deity of chastity.

“Is it acting up again,” Al asked as he moved to stand beside Ed.

“Yeah, but I have it under control. You can go back to sleep.”

“It can get testy Brother. It did some odd things while you were gone. I think we’re going to have to have a professional look at this.

“Seriously? Come on Al we’re two of the brightest people in the city. Surely there isn’t anything a mere fireplace could throw at us that we couldn’t handle.

What happened next happened so fast Roy wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes.

**02 A Trickle of Blood**

The fireplace let out a loud pop sending two sizable glowing embers straight for Ed. Ed jumped to the side to dodge them and while initially successful this move made him trip over the stack of wood. Roy watched in horror as his lover fell to the side. Ed’s head smacked the windowsill hard and he cursed loud in response.

By this time, Fletcher was downstairs too and they were all staring at a dazed looking Ed.

“Brother are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine. Fuck that hurt.”

“Are you sure about that, Edward?” Roy asked wanting nothing more than to inspect the injury himself to make sure.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Stupid fucking log pile,” Ed said as he wobbled away from the fireplace.

Fuck this night all to hell, Ed thought as he tipped his head down and pinched the bridge of his nose. All he wanted to do was return to Central and get laid. Was that really too much to ask?

When Ed raised his head, Fletcher gasped and pointed at him.

“What?” he said and even to him his own voice sounded odd. Odd and far away.

“Is that a trickle of blood?” Fletcher asked.

Come to think of it, Ed did feel something. When he put his fingers to his temple, something warm and wet was there. As he pulled his hand away to look at it he thought, damn that does look like blood.

It was the last thing he remembered.

**04 A Funny Thing Happened **

Ed didn’t become functionally lucid until Sunday afternoon and when the doctors insisted on keeping him one more night he did not take kindly to the news.

“Bring me my clothes now Al or I’m walking out of here in this gown!”

“Calm down Brother it’s for your own good. You whacked your head pretty hard.”

“I’ve done worse and you know it!”

“That was then, this is now,” Al said with a yawn. “I’m too tired to argue.”

“Go home and sleep then.”

“And let you slip out of this hospital with that horrible concussion? Not on your life.”

“I’ll make sure he stays put Alphonse,” Roy said as he entered the room carrying a couple of books.

Despite being dressed, he looked tired and Ed could only guess that Al had run him off at some point to go home and he’d had no choice but to go. Insisting on staying would have raised too many questions.

“Are you sure General? I would think you’d have something better than babysitting to do on a Sunday.”

“I don’t mind at all, Alphonse. He was injured being a good host and helping me after all.”

“Well, if you’re sure.”

“I am,” Roy replied all while thinking there was nothing and no one better that he could be doing. Ed was the cream of the crop. If this was the only way he could be alone with Ed, then so be it. Again, it wasn’t ideal but if life had taught him nothing else, it had taught him how to make the best of a bad situation.

“This is Fletcher’s last day here. I’d like to take him to the museum before his train comes.”

“Yeah, sorry my klutziness kept you guys up all night and day Al, but I promise I’ll stay put.”

With that decided Al hugged his grumpy sibling and left the hospital.

Once alone Roy said, “You scared the piss out of me you know that right?”


“No need to be sorry, it was an accident but still…”

“I know what you mean,” Ed said as he motioned for Roy to sit beside him on the bed.

As they sat there together in silence, Roy chuckled out of the blue.

“What’s so funny?”

“All of this to be honest,” Roy replied. “From the train station skirmish, to you losing your battle with gravity. Outside of you getting hurt of course.”

“Of course,” Ed grumbled as he settled into Roy’s side. “I think I’d be able to laugh with you if I wasn’t still horny as fuck. All this shit and I still haven’t gotten laid.”

“Well we can forget it for another night since you’re stuck here.”

“Or you could sneak me out to your place.”

“And have an angry Alphonse after me? Not a chance, Edo. As much as I’d love to pound you into my mattress, it isn’t worth dying for. Especially not the slow grisly death I’m sure your brother would plan for me if I broke my promise by helping you leave this hospital.”

“This blows,” Ed grumbled as he folded his arms over his chest.

“It does, but that gave me a fabulous idea since you don’t have a roommate.”

Ed arched an eyebrow at his lover and when Roy waltzed over and locked the door a smirk claimed his face. Maybe this wasn’t a complete bust after all. They always did get a kick out of doing sexual things in oddball places. A hospital would be a nice addition to their ongoing list.

When Roy folded back the blankets and sheets in a very meticulous manner Ed gave him a confused look.

“If someone comes knocking we need to be ready not to look suspicious. I’ll pretend like I’m sitting here reading while you cover up any unfinished business an interruption may cause.”

Ed was liking the sound of this better and better and once he nodded Roy wasted no time shrugging out of his coat and hiking Ed’s hospital gown up. Roy wiggled his lovers cock out of the thin fabric constraints of his underwear and sighed at the sight of it. It was like setting eyes on an old friend after several years of separation. It’s been too long. Far too long.

Roy always thought the only proper way for anyone to give a good blowjob was on their knees but considering the situation, he’d make an exception. First, he did a little ball teasing. Ed loved it even though he complained. It started with his fingers, progressed to a full on hand massage and ended with Roy sucking them into that talented mouth of his.

Ed’s world swiftly faded into a warm pleasure filled place that was only getting better by the moment. Soon, the world’s best tongue slid its way up the length of his erection. Then, just as the hottest mouth in existence closed around his cock, it happened…

“Ahhhh, new love, I can remember it like it was yesterday.”

The sound of Maes’ voice made the warm lust filled cocoon around them shatter like a dropped vase. Ed’s eyes shot open just as Roy jerked back. The sudden violent suction made Ed’s eyes roll one last time before his poor, suddenly neglected dick shrank in record time.

If anything could compete with Al’s voice for killing a hard-on, it was apparently the sound of your pseudo father’s voice. Ed was convinced that his manhood would never function the same again.

“Maes how the fuck did you get in here? I locked that door!”

“Come on Roy Boy this is me you’re talking about. No lock stands a chance. I would have knocked if I had known it being locked wasn’t accidental. You two are a riot by the way.”

Eyes still wide with mortification and shock Ed’s brain finally kicked in.

“Why... why are you so cool with this? Why aren’t you killing one of us?”

Roy ran a tense hand down flushed features as he mumbled, “It’s because he already knows, Ed.”

“He what? You told him?”

“I had to tell him because I knew he’d find out anyway. If he found out on his own that killing one of us thing you were so worried about a moment ago would be a reality.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you told him?”

“To keep you on the straight and narrow my boy,” Maes answered. “If you got too comfortable you might slip up.”

“So you didn’t trust me enough to…”

“That’s not it at all Ed and you know it,” Roy replied sternly as Maes chuckled. “Can it Maes! Why the fuck are you here and what do you want?”

“I bumped into Alphonse and he mentioned Ed being in here so I thought I’d drop by to see how Ed was doing. Sorry my timing was a bit off.”

“A bit?” Ed snorted. “A bit? You just walked in, in the middle of a blowjob. What the hell Hughes? You call that just a bit?”

“Oh the innocence of youth,” Maes said, completely undeterred in the face of Ed’s anger. “Talk to some of the old military dogs about being deployed during times of war and you’ll understand what I mean. That was nothing.”

Ed flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. He knew his face was beet red but he couldn’t bring himself to care. After Maes caught him with his cock down Roy’s throat it was stupid of him to feel embarrassed by a few words.

“Well since you are obviously fine I’ll be going now.”

“By all means,” Roy sneered at his best friend. “Don’t let us hold you up.”

As Maes waved goodbye he asked, “Would you like me to lock this?”

Ed threw a box of tissues at the man and for once Roy wasn’t a bit upset with his outburst.

** A Lifetime in This Breath**

They released Ed Monday morning but he was on lock-down by Alphonse. He tried to go visit the office, the library, anywhere but Al refused to yield. The doctor had told him that his brother needed forty-eight more hours of rest and Al was going to make damn sure that’s what Ed received. He even took a couple of days off work to do just that.

By the time Tuesday evening fell over Central City, Ed was seriously contemplating drugging his brother. He just needed a few hours to himself. Was that too much to ask? After everything he’s been through was a tumble in the sheets with Roy really too much to want?

Finally, after days of suffering there was a breakthrough!

Al announced he was going to the store but made Ed promise not to leave the house. After dragging the painful pledge from Ed’s lips, Al departed for the store. Bound by his word, Ed set about sulking through the house. He was about to flop despondently down on the couch when it dawned on him. He was alone. He was alone, with access to the phone.

Looking at the clock, he realized it was after six and Roy should be home. Dashing to the phone, he picked it up and in no time that voice that brought a smile to his face as it sent a fair amount of blood to his cock answered. All was not lost. There was hope again.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine. You know my head is harder than any wood known to mankind.”

“Usually this is a point of much contention and frustration with me but in this particular case I am thankful for it.


“You would have me no other way. I take it Al is gone?”

“Yeah, he’s grocery shopping and he had quite the list with him so I figured it was safe. Since touching you seems out of the question I figured I might as well get what I can get.”

“This can still be fun.”

“Oh?” Ed said as he arched an eyebrow in curiosity.

“Have a seat and indulge me,” Roy replied.

“Ooooh-kay?” Ed said hesitantly.

“Tell me where your hands are.”

“On the counter.”

“Hmmm, that’s not going work. I need you to slide one hand inside your shirt over your navel.”

“I’m not doing that!”

“I wasn’t asking you, Edward. Do it!”

Something in Roy’s tone made Ed feel like he had to. A lot of weird jumbled up emotions came with that realization.

“Did you do that for me?”

“Y… yes.”

“Good boy. Now slowly slide your hand up those rock hard abs of yours, fanning your fingers out as you go.”

Ed did as he was told and the shock of it feeling as good as it did had something in his brain dissolving.

“Are your hands near your nipple yet?”

Ed nodded then he realized he had to speak, “Yeah.”

“Run your middle finger around it four times.”

When Roy heard Ed’s breath hitch, he said, “Now pinch it and tell me how it feels.”

“Fuck Roy it feels… it feels…”

“Feels good doesn’t it?”


“Can you imagine my hands gliding across your skin?”

“I... I can. I wish you were here.”

“I know and I do too, but I promise you I’ll make up for it as soon as I can.”


“I promise to leave you sore in all the right places as soon as life allows Love.”

When Ed groaned, Roy knew this was going in the right direction. Hell, he was hard as steel himself just imagining Ed doing these things to himself. Hearing that rich tenor that served as Ed’s voice wantonly breathless and panting had him fighting the urge to drive over there.

“Now, I need you to move your hand back down your stomach, increasing the pressure as you move it down and over your thighs.”

“They feel good don’t they? I love your thighs, especially in those leather pants of yours.”

Ed couldn’t speak. He felt like a powerless puppet. Roy was pulling on his strings in all the right ways and Ed was just going to give in and let him.

“Now stop when you reach your knee, slide that hand back up the inside of your thigh and run the palm of your hand over that beautifully hard cock of yours.”

Doing that opened the floodgate Ed was trying so hard to keep closed. He was so fucking close to the edge he could have screamed. Biting his bottom lip, he let out a long slow moan instead.

“Undo your zipper, pull your cock out and start stroking yourself. Can you do that for me?”

Ed was nodding again and this time he didn’t have the wherewithal to voice a response.

“Now tell me, Edward. Tell me how it feels.”

Before Ed could reply, the sound of the front door opening, burst into his lust-filled world.

“Fuck the door,” he said in a rushed whisper as he slammed the phone back on its hook and ducked behind the counter.

Kneeling on the floor and in a horrible state for company, Ed was forced to cram his rock hard dick back into his pants and force the zipper up. The action nearly brought tears to his eyes.

“Are you in here Brother?”


“What are you doing in the floor?”

“Popped a button off my shirt, it rolled somewhere,” Ed lied. “What… what are you doing back so soon?”

“Some genius alchemist I am,” Al said with a laugh. “I forgot my wallet. Are you sure you’re okay Brother? You sound weird.”

“I’m good, I’m good, just out of breath from being bent over,” Ed replied as he continued to fish around for the nonexistent button.

“Well I have my wallet now. I’m headed back out.”

“Be safe, Al. I’ll see you soon.”

With that said Al left once more and Ed sighed in defeat. With his forehead pressed to the cool tiles of his kitchen floor, Ed came to the gut wrenching conclusion that he may very well die from the lack of sexual release. As it was, he felt like he’s had a lifelong boner.

** All or Nothing **

Wednesday morning rolled around and Ed had the pep back in his step. He went back to work and all was well. Sure, he spent most of the day fighting the urge to molest Roy at his desk but he survived. It was tough but he made it through.

By the time Ed returned home, he was ready to feed Al any excuse he could to get away for a few hours. Ready to launch into his usual I’ll be at the library spiel the phone ringing cut him off. Al answered and in short order, he had the phone held out to Ed announcing that it was Hughes. Confused Ed took the phone and said, “Hello?”

“Sorry to call you so soon after five but I need you to meet me at the Café’ near the town square?”

“Why? Is something wrong?”

“No, no nothing like that. I just have the details for your next mission.”

Ed’s world went out of focus. He’d just gotten back home from four months on the road. He wasn’t ready to go back into the field. He hadn’t had one moment of peace in five days. He hasn’t had an evening with Roy yet.

“Uh… okay when will I have to leave?”

“Tonight unfortunately it’s pretty urgent.”

Ed’s world went from out of focus to dark. He could barely form words.

“How long will I be gone?”

“It should be a short mission so a week at most.”

A week? He’d have to wait a whole week more to see Roy. Knowing how off Maes could be with his timetables it could be even longer. Ed was not pleased.

“Are you still there Ed?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m here.”

“So see you there around seven?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“That’s the spirit! Pack your bags and hug Alphonse. See you soon.”

Ed packed with all the enthusiasm of a man on his way to his own execution. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He wasn’t trying to be melodramatic about it but it sucked. It sucked big gray donkey dick.

He tried to convince Al he didn’t need a ride to the Café but Al was upset enough about Ed going back on the road so soon so he would hear none of Ed’s talk about walking there. Add to that Ed’s recent concussion and you have an unhappy camper named Alphonse. It took a lot to make Al upset but once it happened he was a force to be reckoned with. This was all well and good but it also meant no stopping by Roy’s along the way.

It was something that didn’t even surprise Ed at this point. He knew when to throw in the towel and he was tossing it. His desire to be with Roy just wasn’t something that was meant to be.

When he dropped Ed off Al gave Hughes no more than a curt greeting through gritted teeth and the death glare before climbing back in the car and heading home.

Once Al was gone Maes said, “You’d better thank me for this.”

“What?” Ed replied confused.

“I’m certain Al may simmer over this one for a while but it’s for a good cause so I’ll deal with it.”

“Did you hit your head too Hughes? What the hell are you going on about?”

Before Hughes could answer, Roy walked up to their table with a tray bearing three drinks. Stunned and speechless Ed looked from Roy to Hughes and back again with his mouth hanging open.

“It just so happens this mission calls for two alchemists and I convinced the powers that be if I could send you both it could be wrapped up in no time.”

Roy smiled at Ed and it took everything Ed had not to tackle him where he stood.

“So what exactly is this mission?”

“Some bullshit I’ve already solved but they don’t know that.”

“Then why are we going?” Ed asked.

“To tie up some loose ends and fuck like rabbits,” Maes replied looking devious.

“Please tell me you aren’t joking. I don’t think I could take it.”

“No jokes here my boy. Just do your part and make the paperwork look good and the two of you have a week away all to yourselves. Consider this my way of apologizing for the hospital thing.”

When Ed turned crimson, Roy rolled his eyes, “You just had to bring that up didn’t you?”

“Hey, I had to get something out of this. I’ll be lucky to survive the week here alone with an angry Alphonse.”

“So what do we do now?”

“Your train leaves in an hour and I have a feeling the two of you can figure the rest out on your own.”

…and figure it out they did. Boy did they ever. They figured it out on the floor, on the bed, on the counter, in the shower… all was finally well and nicely sated in their world.

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